Where is my White Knight??

Forget legwarmers
Forget ti-dye
Forget pin-up dresses

What we really need is the return of the Gentleman!! 

This morning, I was shoved and pushed so many times I admitted defeat and leaned against a wall letting the stampede pass me by. My 28 years don't even allow me to use the phrase "I remember a time when things were different" but I still know things MUST have been at one point. The tiniest gesture of a man simply sliding over to the vacant seat rather then watching me climb over two sets of knees or letting me on/off the train before him seems an alien concept after four years of London life. I know there are those who still practice manners and I feel they deserve a mention but this blog is purely about the other 98% of male commuters. 

If you know me then you will know i'm not someone in favour of sexism or oppression, and will voice my opinion at the slightest remark on such matters but I don't see how in order to be granted equality we seemed to have sacrificed respect. 

"Woman are delicate creatures and we must act sensitive to their nerves"  - Anon 1912

The sight of a naval officer in uniform ignites something deep in every woman, and no its NOT the uniform its what the uniform represents. Respect, Loyalty... and well yes, down right hotness but I know he will be a very different man to the one who stepped over my spilled groceries yesterday. When I was 18 I worked in a cafe in Shannon Airport, this particular day I had dealt with two flights full of delayed and angry passengers,  snotty Airport staff who seemed to enjoy complaining yet returning every day and a manager who "bumped" off my ass everytime he passed me. Needless to say I wasn't the cheeriest teenager, so I had to almost pinch myself when I saw what was approaching. US Marines had landed for re-fueling and came up to the cafe for some refreshments. I was suddenly inundated with assistance from the female staff who were previously nowhere to be found during the dinner rush! "Hello Ma'm, Thank you M'am, Have a nice day" can you imagine what those words sounded like compared to "Jaysus whacha call dat!?" or "F**k off will ya, five euro, i'm bringin my own in from tomorrow" and my favourite "Fill up da plate will ya!!? I hope dat bitch isn't on the till". 

And guys wonder why girls swoon at a solider?? Just like the effect a nurse has on men, she's there to look after you, kiss your boo boos and make you feel aaaall better, well a man in uniform gives us the illusion of protection and respect. 

I'm not asking for guys to "doth their hats" to us women, i'm just asking for a simple thing like offering the pregnant woman a seat rather than waiting for a girl to do it or opening a door, oh my god, at this stage I actually think I would marry the first man who opened a door for me! Not desperate at all is it?? Or coming to a woman's aid, when did that end!?

Once while standing at a bus stop with my mother in Angel she was approached by a drunk who was wanted to sell her his imaginary greyhound, stepping in front of mum seemed to offend him and his invisible greyhound so much he began shouting abuse in my face. Although the bus stop was packed it was left up to me alone to defend her. There was the skinny jeans boyfriend hanging onto his girlfriend as if she was being attacked, well that's what the romantic in me would like to believe, in reality he was probably using her as a shield. There was the six foot brick shithouse who simply turned up his ipod and the business man who suddenly became so fascinated by the bus maps. After a few more slurred insults the drunk stumbled his way across the road, I turned to thank everyone aloud for their assistance, or lack of, and hurried mum on the bus before some junkie appeared with a reasonably priced unicorn. 

We all feel the fear and stress of everyday life in a city, and it's easy to just zone out but is it so wrong for me to long for when women were delicate creatures and men were sensitive to our nerves!!?

Don't ask Don't tell

Travelling home from Green Park station last night I settled into a seat and adjusted my headphones. Taking in my surroundings, the carriage had its usual eclectic group of people including the ipad flasher, the boy sponsored by Ed Hardy who's "noise cancelling headphones" clearly only worked one way and an elderly gentleman holding a deep conversation with his reflection. 
Ah late night London...

But just as I was about to place the headphones in my ears I overheard a conversation between two "upper class" older men alongside me. They were discussing the recent story line of Eastenders, in which two men, Christian and Syed, got married. An episode that aired the previous night which had Natalie and I blubbering on the sofa with joy. I've chosen to para-phrase most of the conversation because I was raised better and will not repeat their language; 

Man 1: "That's the last thing I want to see after a hard day's work, you just cant seem to get away from these fairies.. and she refused to switch the channel so I had to watch the whole ****** thing!"

Man 2: "I didn't see it but I know what you mean, watching those guys prancing around the street is bad enough and now its been shoved down our throats everywhere we go, suddenly the whole bloody world is gay. There was no such thing as "gay" when I was younger"

"And it was a better time, people had respect for themselves and for their families, Thank GOD my son is right in the head. I don't know how these parents can even look at them. Disgusting ****. 

"What I don't get is why they have to be so blasted feminine, going around acting like women. I remember being taught it was a sin, i'm telling you its all in the bible but that's just another thing this generation doesn't care about"

"Well I told her that shit wont being watched in my house ever again"

"Rightly so"

I was never so happy to see Seven Sisters, where I got off, a little dazed and confused to say the least. I'm not naive, I know there is a lot of prejudice in the world but what stunned me the most was the venom dripping from words such as "Gay" and "women". But above all, I cannot believe that people are still using the bible as a guide on how to conduct our lives in 2012! If anything was in more need of any expiry date it would be that book, it really needs to crawl out of the reference section and take a seat back on the history shelf.

As a Catholic I do own a bible but it sits alongside my copy of the Malleus Maleficarum "The Witch's Hammer" - a guide book on how to seek out and destroy a witch written in the 1400's. Because that's how I see it, a piece of human history and a reminder of how far humanity has come. Clearly there are still those who think otherwise, I just hope the Maleficarum continues to stay up on the shelf or there will be a lot more bonfires on November 5th!

The bible passage they are referring to is from the;  Book of Leviticus 18:22

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."

But if they continued to read on, which I highly doubt they did, underneath the would also see;

"You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together."

It also goes on to say we shouldn't eat shellfish! Well today I have on cotton & wool and a lovely helping of prawns in my belly from dinner last night. Lets hope I'm in heaven before the devil knows i'm dead eh?

As for the "women" comment. Please correct me if you think i'm wrong in saying this but after listening to these ignorant meanderings last night, I have a suspicion that the fear behind some egotistical men is being seen as a woman. Even now when I think back to comments such as "you throw like a girl" and "you're acting like a bunch of little girls out there on the field" (references to Hollywood movies through the years), I am a little offended. Are comments like these still aimed to motivate young men to achieve?? 

I cant help but think that is what some men fear the most. They think that being a gay man means you wish to be a woman. Which of course is totally incorrect as gay men are attracted to other men and if they wanted to be with a woman that would make them straight. Personally I prefer women and gay men being in the same category, it would be a very strong, respectful, honest and daring category... and one hell of a party! 

So to all of you who think this kind of conversation is acceptable on public transport (or at all!) I suggest you visit websites such as Stonewall or LFG and find out how many people have DIED as a direct result to your ignorance and poison. 

And go for a night out in Candy Bar, Heaven or G.A.Y. As a straight girl I prefer these clubs, the staff and customers tend to treat each other with more respect and admiration than any other club i've been to in London.

As for the bible references...like ANY book, please read it before you quote it!

Susan Buckley 

Memories

Fresh cut grass mornings
birds singing in the trees
Mum sweeping the front garden
Dew glistening on the leaves

The hum of lawnmowers
and planes coming into land
people passing by
with a generous waving hand

Front door wide open
inviting the cool breeze
Canopy's swaying 
as it swims through the trees

The sound of us laughing 
echoed in the park
Houses made from grass
furniture from bark

Water fights with plastic bottles
and tennis with orange chairs
rollerblading down the hills
and playing  in the squares

We layed under the trees
swapping secrets and tales
Nintendo on standby 
for when all else fails

Neighbours perching on the walls
swapping tales of their own
Mothers preparing evening meals
Fathers returning home

These are the memories 
that I love most
planning school holidays
and trips to the coast

Sunny summer mornings 
Sand and lapping waves
That was my childhood
those were the days

Susan Buckley